This month, I’d like to talk about something a little different from my usual food-related topics: “How to deal with expectations without burdening yourself.” We live surrounded by various “expectations” every day. For example, we might be expected to get the top score on a test, or feel pressure to be “what a good professional” or “what a good family member” should be. Let’s explore together how to face these expectations and live authentically.
Learning from the Cucumber Story: The Pressure of “Expectations”
First, let’s consider the pressure of expectations using the familiar example of a “cucumber.” The cucumbers you see in Japanese supermarkets are all straight and uniform in shape, aren’t they?
However, cucumbers are actually plants that naturally grow curved. It’s because we expect “cucumbers to be straight” that farmers grow them in molds to make them straight. Cucumbers, too, are working hard to meet our expectations, taking on a shape different from their true selves. Hearing this, you might feel a little sorry for the cucumbers.
We humans are the same. In trying to meet the expectations of society and those around us, we sometimes unknowingly push ourselves too hard. This cucumber story might symbolize our own situation.
My Dark Spot Removal Laser Experience: Expectations vs. Reality for Appearance
Next, I’ll share my experience with dark spot removal laser treatment regarding “expectations” about appearance. As we age, dark spots can appear on our faces. However, there are often strict societal expectations about appearance, such as “dark spots are unacceptable.” Some of you might have even experienced unkind comments.
I once tried dark spot removal laser treatment during the COVID-19 pandemic when I had no work. The promise was that “laser light would make the dark spots disappear,” but in reality, it involved burning the dark spots to cause a controlled wound and regenerate the skin.
Immediately after the procedure, my face was bright red, as shown in the left picture, and I had to apply medicine and wear bandages. My dark spots were quite large, but this was very noticeable, and if I had been commuting to work, people would surely have asked, “What happened?” Since I had no plans to go out at the time, it wasn’t an issue, but if I were to do this during normal life, I’d choose a time like right before Golden Week or New Year’s, when I wouldn’t see colleagues for about a week.
Honestly, my feeling was, “Is it really necessary to go through such a difficult process?” While dark spots can be hard to cover with just foundation, there are concealers specifically designed to make them less noticeable. I felt that skillfully covering them with cosmetics was less physically and mentally taxing than forcibly wounding and regenerating the skin. There isn’t just one way to meet expectations about appearance.
The Story of Gray Hair Dyeing: Expectations for Age and Appearance
Another expectation, often placed on women, is that “hair must be black.” Men might also face the expectation that “it’s better to have hair.” Since I’ve had a lot of gray hair since I was young and have been dyeing it for a long time, I’d like to share a few methods I’ve used.
Hair Manicure
When I didn’t have much gray hair yet, and people around me said, “You don’t need to dye it yet,” I tried hair manicure. When I consulted my hairdresser, they explained that unlike regular hair dye, which penetrates the hair shaft, hair manicure, like nail polish, just coats the surface. So, it doesn’t damage the hair or scalp. I used this for a while.
Lipstick-Type Gray Hair Concealer
For those who can’t go to the salon frequently or want to temporarily cover gray roots, a lipstick-type gray hair concealer is recommended. This type is applied to the hairline or part where gray hair is noticeable, similar to applying makeup, and washes out easily with shampoo. It’s very convenient for temporary touch-ups.
Henna Dye (Current Method)
And what I currently do is “henna dyeing.” I started this method for both saving money and health. It involves mixing henna powder, a plant-based hair dye, with black tea and applying it myself. It might seem difficult at first, but once you get used to it, it’s much easier and more economical than going to a hair salon, considering the travel time and cost.
If you use only henna, your hair will turn orange. If you’re okay with orange instead of white, then henna alone is fine. In my case, I want black hair, so I use a product that mixes henna with indigo (a plant that produces an indigo blue color, like in jeans). I mix this with black tea, apply it to my hair, leave it for a while, and then rinse it off. It also has shampoo and conditioner effects, so it’s a complete process.
It’s a good idea to watch videos from the manufacturer or visit a salon that offers henna dyeing to see how professionals do it before trying it at home. I plan to continue this method for the rest of my life.
How to Deal with Expectations Without Overburdening Yourself
As professionals and family members, we are constantly exposed to various expectations. Expectations like “I must be a good professional,” “I must be a good family member,” or “My cooking must always be delicious” can sometimes exhaust us.
While meeting expectations is important, even more crucial is how we protect our own minds and bodies. It’s vital to find ways to manage expectations within a reasonable scope, seeking a balance between ideals and reality. There are times when we can no longer do what we could when we were younger, and sometimes it’s necessary to leverage services and technology to live happily.
About Hanazumari Channel
As you can see, the videos on Hanazumari Channel are created by flipping through still images, mainly photos, like a book, with added audio. As a book lover, I concluded that this style of video would be best. We are now in an era where AI can generate three-dimensional characters with just a single prompt. However, generating beautiful three-dimensional characters often requires a paid version of AI, and generating such characters inevitably makes the video heavier and editing more time-consuming, which would take too long on my current computer. Therefore, I decided to stick to 2D. If you like it, please subscribe to the channel.
